People keep telling me topics I should talk about in the blog. None of them really work. I haven’t gotten frustrated by the culture, I haven’t been homesick, I’ve found ways around the language barrier, and I don’t feel the need to compare everything here to home. I don’t feel any particular problem with being here and I haven’t found any grand conundrum to share or think about. I like it here.
I guess I can just say, that while most of the other girls are talking about feeling homesick and looking forward to getting back, I’m growing quieter and quieter as we get to the end because I don’t want to leave yet. I like it here. I like the routine I have built and the places that have become familiar to me. It’s comfortable. I like that I am beginning to react automatically to those unfamiliar social cues that I used to miss. I like the people I have just begun to build relationships with. I like walking across the street during a busy part of the day and watching the motos and tuk-tuks part around me. I like being waved at by tuk-tuk drivers who are asking if I need a ride and remembering last second that I shouldn’t wave back or they will think I’m saying yes. I like when I forget that part and they roll their eyes at me as I stutter an apology in Khmer. I like walking into the coffee shop a block away and knowing the names of the waiters who are beginning to remember my name. I like the work I am doing. I like the krama I always have around my shoulders to wipe away the sweat that I now expect to be coating my face. I like two hour lunch breaks and two or three showers a day and how an hour long meal is considered fast and shaking ants off my flip flops every morning. I like my tan line. Even the parts that have turned into heat rash.
There are so many other things I like about this place. So, I don’t have anything big to share with everyone. Just a lot of little things. I’m not ready to leave. Especially when I think that it’s very possible I will never be here again. This is me. Not ready.